It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
