Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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