you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
