Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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