We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
