I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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