just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
