how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
