ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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