i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
