that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize