I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
