she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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