I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
