What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize