Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
