Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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