Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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