i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize