need another drink. this is the easiest way
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
