i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
either way he was missing a nipple.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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