That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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