That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
