it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
