Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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