you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
