If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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