What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
