I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
