then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
