A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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