Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
