So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
