i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
