i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
