when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize