Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
