went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize