he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I want to fling myself into the sun
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
