He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize