Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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