What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
