oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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