When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
two words...techno handjob
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
