Fuck appropriateness.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
