I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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