Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
