if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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