do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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