Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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