I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
