Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
