glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
