he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
