Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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