I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize