smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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