Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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