I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sorry about my life...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
