So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
