I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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