Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
