Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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