are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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