Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
