I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
