Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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