chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
