5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
