I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
