well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
