O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
