I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize