i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
home. puking in laundry basket.
ugly people sure do ruin things
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
